Healing the Hurt
Hurt people hurt people.
Let me say that again. When people have been hurt, they are likely to respond in ways that end up hurting others. When you look around at this world, you can see a LOT of hurt people. And the cycle of hurt just keeps going round and round and round as we respond to our hurt by acting out in ways that hurt. How do we stop this? And how does this have anything to do with birth?
There is a saying that "peace on earth begins at birth". And I really believe this. If a woman in pregnancy, in labor, in early parenthood is treated disrespectfully, is undermined and treated not as an individual, but as a nuisance, how does this then establish her entry into motherhood? If a baby is talked to as a problem, if it is rough-handled, if it is ignored and jabbed and cut from the moment of it's birth - what foundation are we laying for this child? Families are leaving their birth experiences feeling completely broken. How does this brokenness then translate into how families operate and grow? If you have a traumatized mother, a traumatized baby and possibly a traumatized father going home to start a life on their own, how can that be a recipe for love, respect and peace?
This cycle of trauma and hurt needs to stop. We are setting up families for failure from the start by the type of care we offer in our clinics and hospitals. We need to take pregnancy more seriously. And by seriously, I mean we need to treat women as the intuitive human beings that they are. We need to treat the growing baby as an individual that is deserving of respect. We need to recognize the important role of fathers in the whole equation and support and encourage them to step in and step up.
How do we start this? First off, we need to make choices that support respect and love. Find a care provider who listens to you. Who treats you as the expert of your body, your pregnancy and your baby. Secondly, call out the practices that are harmful. Let doctors, nurses, midwives and hospitals know what is not okay by you. You have a voice and you are called to use it! You are paying for a service and you should be served, not traumatized! Also, give yourself and your baby the space to be loved and nourished. Take time during your day to love yourself. Send love messages to your baby. Take moments to focus on what you are feeling and become well-acquainted with yourself and your feelings. Why are you feeling this way? What is this feeling trying to tell you? What can you do for yourself that will make you feel loved?
Help stop the cycle of hurt. Let's raise up a new generation of people who understand respect and love from the very beginning and so want to share respect and love with others!